Black Shiny Blog


home	about t-bone	black shiny blog	t-bone's gallery	screen idol	the artist's muse	t-bone's friends	contact t-bone	links

July 2008

T-Bone here,
I was recently wisked off to the V word to get the chop. As if this wasn't a big enough ordeal, I had to first endure a thermometer where the sun doesn't shine. I was completely off me trolley when I came round, all I can remember is my legs caving in, the room swaying and eating rice and chicken. My humans think I haven't noticed the empty sack where my nads used to be, so I've pooed in their favourite shoes as they have yet to discover.

I went to Hastings the other week and met Herman. His human had knackered the life out of him and he was standing on the beach shivering and cold and wanting his ball back which had been tossed into the sea, he didn't have the energy he was born with, so I dived in and swam out to get it for him. He was very grateful and although neither of us should have even been on the beach between may-sept, invited me to join him in a pee and to sniff seaweed and cuttlefish, that boy needs to get a life.

I have been accused of teaching Lucky bad habits in the retrieving department. I never bring anything back to my humans, especially when asked to drop, that's when I leg it like there is no tomorrow. After what happened to me, mate, do they really think I'd let them anywhere near my balls again? I'm just preparing young Lucky that's all.

I ate some KFC bones and the paper and some hard turkish bread. My humans don't understand that I'm a junk-food junkie, I don't just go to the park to socialise, I need my fix for god's sake.

I usually let Mika dominate me when we play, it's because she will only whine on about bloody equality and how hard it is for girl dogs to break through the glass ceiling of boy dog silly buggery if I don't. I am a gentleman and secure enough in my masculinity to allow a girl dog to pin me down like a big girls blouse if it makes her feel good.

My humans have started shopping at Lidl due to the credit crunch, well crunch this sister, I dont like massive tins of horse poo for 20p, I like fresh meat. OK.

I've recently noticed that the park rangers have started placing found tennis balls on the bench near their office. Why the hell dont they keep at least 2 in their mouth and run away?

Enough twittery for now,

Teebs XXX